Fourteen years
Thirty minutes
Fifteen seconds I've
Held this grudgeEleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I've expendedNot in contact
Not a letter
Such communication
Telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece
Of every recordBut who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
With an antique knot in her stomach?I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of usLike an abandoned house
Dusty covered
Furniture
Still intact
If I visit it now
Will I simply re-live it
Somehow gratuitousBut who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healingI want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of usMaybe as I cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
Dead weight off my shoulders will riseHere I sit
Much determined
Ever ill-equipped
To draw this curtain
How this has entertained
Validated
And has served me well
Ever the victimBut who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to rememberI want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.